Compromise my rights? Never

This letter/story is in response to the question, “Why won’t you gun people at least compromise a little?”

The Cake

Let’s say I have this cake. It is a very nice cake, with “gun rights” written across the top in lovely floral icing. I received it from the Second Amendment.

Along you come and say, “Give me that cake.”

I say, “No, it’s my cake.”

You say, “Let’s compromise. Give me half.” I respond by asking what I get out of this compromise, and you reply that I get to keep half of my cake.

OK, we compromise. Let us call this compromise The National Firearms Act of 1934.

There I am with half my cake, and you walk back up and say, “Give me that cake.”

I say, “No, it’s my cake.”

You say, “Let’s compromise. “What do I get out of this compromise?” I ask. Why, I get to keep half of what’s left of the cake I already own?

So, we have our compromise — let us call this one the Gun Control Act of 1968 — and I am left holding what is now just a quarter of my cake.

And I am sitting in the corner with my quarter piece of cake, and here you come again. You want my cake. Again.

You say “Let’s compromise once more.” “What do I get out of this compromise?” I ask again. I get to keep one-eighth of what’s left of the cake I already own?

So, we have your compromise. Let us call this one the machine gun ban of 1986, and I’m left holding what is now just a sixteenth of my cake.

I sit back in the corner with just my sixteenth of cake that I once owned outright and completely, I glance up and here you come once more.

You say nothing and just grab my cake. This time you take several bites — we’ll call this the Clinton Executive Orders — and I’m left with about a thirty-second of what has always been my cake, but you’ve got most of it.

Then we compromised with the Lautenberg Act (nibble, nibble), the HUD/Smith and Wesson agreement (nibble,nibble), the Brady Law (nom nom nom), the School Safety and Law Enforcement Improvement Act (sweet tap-dancing Freyja, my finger!)

I’m left holding crumbs of what was once a large and satisfying cake, and you’re standing there with most of my cake, making anime eyes and whining about being “reasonable” and wondering “why we won’t compromise.”

DANIEL SANDIFER

Lynchburg

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