On Sunday, most of us will be soaking up the sights and sounds of the big game: Super Bowl XLVII.
Now my first loves are soccer and tennis, of which I’m sure the mere mention is causing people to cough under their breath and call me a pansy as they read this.
I do like and enjoy watching football, but I felt the need to be completely honest.
What's interesting about this gridiron battle is that weeks before we even knew what teams would actually be playing, CBS announced they had sold all the available commercial time. As for the hefty price tag for these 30-second spots, the network reported grabbing a cool $3.7 million to $3.8 million for each one.
The game is "a national holiday," Leslie Moonves, chairman and chief executive of the CBS Corporation, declared during a recent interview.
Well, maybe for him.
Nevertheless, I thought we could take a look back at some of the more clever, comical commercials that have managed to keep me laughing long after my football-food coma has passed.
Last year's condensed parody of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," was pretty funny. Only, instead of going out with co-stars Mia Sara and Alan Ruck in a vintage Ferrari, Matthew Broderick went for a spin in his new Honda.
The scenes spoofed — including the parade, the "Bueller ... Bueller ..." moment and the parking attendant taking the car on his own personal joyride — were all interwoven with Yello's campy 1980s hit, "Oh Yeah," and reminded me how ingenious that film truly is.
Everyone remembers the introduction of the newest M&M character, Mrs. Brown, a straightlaced, no-nonsense candy that has the misfortune of "wearing" a brown shell, which presumably makes her look naked. The male partygoers certainly take notice, but she once again clarifies that she is covered and only a fool would think she's au naturel.
"So it's that kind of party," shouts a fellow M&M.
Then there was 2006's Bud Light spot, where a guy installed a magic fridge on a turntable so it could easily disappear and keep the guests from drinking all his beer. But once that fridge rotated, it ended up in the apartment next door, much to the delight of his neighbors.
I've always wanted something like that to happen to me.
Another Bud Light gem from 2003 was Zebra Ref — a parody of the NFL's video review policy — with a real zebra checking the instant replay while a group of football-playing horses wait. One man in the ad says, "That referee's a jackass." His companion replies: "No, I believe that's a zebra."
The beer commercials usually are the best.
But the clear winner, to this day, has to be the 1993 "Nothing but Net" commercial, where Michael Jordan and Larry Bird shot a game of H-O-R-S-E — a humorous battle of skill as each player tried to make an increasingly more difficult shot than the other — to decide who could dine on a McDonald's Big Mac.
I can't wait to see what's in store for this year.
So if the game turns out to be a total bust or Beyonce decides to lip-synch at the last minute during the half-time show, at least we'll have the commercials to talk about for a while.
Contact Brent Wells at (434) 385-5489 or firstname.lastname@example.org.