Tying up some loose stories

By Darrell Laurant

Published: November 3, 2008

There are times when being the only general columnist on this newspaper becomes a little challenging. Because my face appears with what I write (for better or worse), many people see me as their gateway into print. On top of that, I’ve made a lot of acquaintances in 30 years here, and they often send me suggestions of things to write about, which I value greatly.

Unfortunately, my column only runs three times a week, which gives me limited time to comply with last-minute requests. Our office e-mail is beset with spam, so your message — even if sent well in advance — might have gotten lost among the Viagra ads and the poignant letters from widows of foreign dictators who want to entrust me with $5 million. Some things just aren’t columns, and I pass them along to various colleagues. Other times, I, uh, just forget.

Having thus groveled, I’m going to devote this space to things I meant to write about but somehow lost the handle on. I chosen these few among many because of the time element.

w Karen Prior Swallow, a professor at Liberty University, sent me the following e-mail back in September:

“I was having a conversation with a graduate student over our frustrations with the major party candidates and the lack of desire to vote for either one. I told her that was no excuse not to vote — that is what the write-in vote is for. ‘Write-in vote?’ she asked. ‘What’s that?’

“Finding myself explaining it to her, I began to wonder how many others don’t know about this voting right. It would be so great if you could look into this!”

OK, Karen — here’s the deal. The good news is, the touch-type voting machines have simplified this process greatly. You no longer have to make a minor spectacle of yourself by asking for a slip of paper. Rather, just touch the “write-in” box under each list of candidates and a touch pad will appear. Using this, you can type in “Hillary Clinton” or “Mike Huckabee” or “Spongebob Squarepants” or whomever else you choose. You’ll feel virtuous.

The bad news is, your candidate can’t win. Only candidates who have registered as write-in candidates will be eligible to have their votes counted, and Mickey Mouse missed that deadline yet again.

So why do it? Well, for one thing, many people would rather have their vote registered in a “none of the above” category than to waste it on a candidate they consider the lesser of two evils.

Other reasons might include:

To impress a boyfriend or girlfriend. That way, you can casually drop this into a conversation: “By the way, I voted for you for president.” Note: That doesn’t carry as much clout if you used your write-in privilege on a school board election.

To honor someone you idolize. Given the current direction of the economy, Franklin D. Roosevelt might be a good choice. (Note: Cartoon figures or dead people cannot actually serve in office). If you vote for God, it could get you points in the afterlife.

To get one of those “I Voted” stickers to demonstrate your sense of civic responsibility. You don’t have to tell anyone you voted for Paris Hilton.

w Ed Schubert will be doing a launch party and book signing for his first novel, “Dreaming Creek,” at Givens Books on Saturday beginning at 4:30 p.m. Ed now lives in Greensboro, but his parents ran the “Shades of Green” nursery in this area for many years. I haven’t read the book, but it has a nice cover and an intriguing plot (boyfriend and girlfriend switch bodies and then have to deal with it). Ed is something of a protege of Orson Scott Card, who is a brand name in science fiction.

  This was supposed to be in my Book Beat column on Sunday but wasn’t. Sorry.

w The Friends of the Lynchburg Symphony Orchestra is hosting a Family Sock Hop on Saturday from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Moose Lodge on Lakeside Drive (hey, it’s right up the street from Ed Schubert’s book signing). This is to raise money for the Lynchburg Symphony Orchestra, which is why the tickets are $50 for two and $10 for each additional sock-hopper. The event is, a news release told me, “geared toward families with small children in an effort to educate younger generations about the Lynchburg Symphony and the many benefits the Symphony brings to our community.”

From what I understand, the Moose Lodge keeps its dance floor clean. And if I may insert a columnist’s plug, Lynchburg is one of a very few cities our size with a symphony orchestra (making it, by extension, the only symphony east of the Mississippi without an Interstate highway).

w Finally, teens from the First Unitarian Church in Lynchburg have been working all fall painting a tent to be sent to Africa to house refugees from Darfur. They will join hundreds from around the country on Saturday in Washington for a “Gathering of the Tents,” the goal being to raise awareness of the humanitarian crisis in Darfur.

There might be a future column in that, but I just thought you’d like to know now.

There — I feel better.